Pure Comedy

The comedy of man starts like this

Our brains are way too big for our mothers' hips

And so Nature, she divines this alternative

We emerged half-formed and hope that whoever greets us on the other end

Is kind enough to fill us in

And, babies, that's pretty much how it's been ever since

Now the miracle of birth leaves a few issues to address

Like, say, that half of us are periodically iron deficient

So somebody's got to go kill something while I look after the kids

I'd do it myself, but what, are you going to get this thing its milk?

He says as soon as he gets back from the hunt, we can switch

It's hard not to fall in love with something so helpless

Ladies, I hope we don't end up regretting this

Comedy, now that's what I call pure comedy

Just waiting until the part where they start to believe

They're at the center of everything

And some all powerful being endowed this horror show with meaning

Oh, their religions are the best

They worship themselves yet they're totally obsessed

With risen zombies, celestial virgins, magic tricks, these unbelievable outfits

And they get terribly upset

When you question their sacred texts

Written by woman-hating epileptics

Their languages just serve to confuse them

Their confusion somehow makes them more sure

They build fortunes poisoning their offspring

And hand out prizes when someone patents the cure

Where did they find these goons they elected to rule them?

What makes these clowns they idolize so remarkable?

These mammals are hell-bent on fashioning new gods

So they can go on being godless animals

Oh comedy, their illusions they have no choice but to believe

Their horizons that just forever recede

And how's this for irony, their idea of being free is a prison of beliefs

That they never ever have to leave

Oh comedy, oh it's like something that a madman would conceive!

The only thing that seems to make them feel alive is the struggle to survive

But the only thing that they request is something to numb the pain with

Until there's nothing human left

Just random matter suspended in the dark

I hate to say it, but each other's all we got