Absolutely Wankered

I've only had 5 cans

I've got one more in my hand

And if i drink it really quick

I'll look like more of a man

I've had fuck all to eat

And now I'm slurring my speach

Try and down me some vodka

But its like swallowing bleach

I've promised myself

That I'd go steasy this week

But with the week I've just had

This shit is just what I need

I've been practically saintly

All this work I've done lately

Think its high time

For me to go and get wasted

Absolutely, Utterly, Completely Fucked

And I can't see a thing

Absolutely wankered, I feel fucking great

Get Me another drink.

Absolutely, Utterly, Completely Fucked

And I can't see a thing,

Absolutely wankered

I've only had 9 cans

And now I can't feel my hands,

Getting past the point

Where I can comfortabley

Stand up straight.

I feel great, but I'm looking a state,

And i'm getting the impression,

That I've hiot on my mate,

I'm getting me a repuation,

Someone stop me please

Before I make a scene,

I've been practically saintly,

All this work I've done lately,

Think its high time,

For me to go and get wasted.

Absolutely...