If I

If I hadn't been a quiet introspective kid

If I hadn't been a nerd wouldn't have met with him

If we hadn't observed we be the best of friends

That preferred the spoken word to the toke and binge

If momma hadn't died when I was young

Would me and sis have been so tight from jump

If dad had not lost his mind to a disease

Would I be up here askin ya'll to notice me

In the dark times didn't know where the path went

I was close to the edge like Grand Master Flash said

It was the hands of my friends who held me back

Yes

Without them I'd MJ keep slide'n backwards

Or be a hypocrite like some others have been

If that and the other hadn't happened

I don't know that I'd be Brer Rabbit

Askin how many ifs between hero and has-been?

If I had only known that I would be a lamb to the slaughter

now I know

If I hadn't grown up in the 80's

Experiencing the various things that made me

Would I still be standing center stage

Trying to innovate new ways to demonstrate

If mommy daddy hadn't turned off Mork and Mindy

To inform us divorce was pending

Would him and me have spent these 23 years in a frenzy

Moving back and forth with such forceful energy

I remember when I was a little baby

Lying there alone on my pillow casing

Upset already I could feel the aging

The urge to return was debilitating

And maybe I'm still afraid and need to

Cry a little harder for the world of play things

Stop looking back on these silly day dreams

Sing along with me if you feel the same way

If I had known what awaited was unplanned

If I had known the blade was in a loved one's hand

If I had known of the possible injury

If I had known the altar was meant for me

Now I know nobody can predict events

Now I know there's cracks in the picket fence

Now I know that something else can exist

Now I know a life can be built from this

If I had known emotions would still remain

If I had known that time wouldn't heal the pain

If I had known the intent of the injury

If I had known the altar wasn't meant for me

Now I know there's treasure hidden in these scars

Now I know there's presence in an empty yard

Now I know what it took for me to survive

Now I know where to go to become alive