Vacation

I don’t know how to be

What I wanted to be when I was 5

Sometimes blue eyes sometimes green

Bike rides

Snow hikes and christmas lights

Sometimes freezing sometimes warm

I don’t know if I can love that anymore

'Cuz I got it all

I got it all mistaken

For a meaningful life and a fun family vacation

Like when I used to ride roller coasters with my dad

When a swimming pool in a hotel was a gift from God

Like love or like a family

I don’t know how to be

Maybe I just wanna get married

Maybe I just wanna fall asleep

But at least I know that the world is spinning

When we’re tangled in the bedsheets

And at least I know that my mom is breathing

When we talk on the phone

And at least I know that my house

Won’t burn down down to the ground

Or maybe it will

If I’ve been in love before, and I’m pretty sure I have

I’m pretty sure that my house can burn down down

To the ground tomorrow if I’ve been in love before

And I know that I have

Then I know that my house can burn

Down down down down to the ground tomorrow