Everything Happens to Me

I make a date for golf -

You can bet you life it rains.

I try to give a party -

And the guy upstairs complains.

I guess I'll go thru life;

Just catchin' colds and missin' trains,

Ev'rything happens to me.

I never miss a thing -

I've had measles and the mumps.

And ev'ry time I play my ace -

My partner always trumps.

I guess I'm just a fool;

Who never looks before he jumps,

Ev'rything happens to me.

At first my heart tho't;

You could break this jinx for me.

That love would turn the trick;

To end my despair.

But now, I just can't fool;

This head that thinks for me.

I've mortgaged all my castles in the air.

I've telegraphed and called;

I sent "Air Mail Special", too;

You answer was goodbye -

And there was even postage due.

I fell in love just once;

And then it had to be with you,

Ev'rything happens to me.