Destrcution

I realize I hate myself, where did I go?

I'm not the one I want to be, so I have work to do

Think and chew and see the truth of my reality

Find a way to fix me and my self-destructive ways

How do I get from a to b, what do I need to do?

To get out all of my traumatizing thoughts of me and you

I thought I knew but then I don't, where do I go from here?

Who am I and what do I want, the questions I must answer

Why do I end up in these self-destructive patterns

I hurt you but it hurts me and the fault is mine to bear

I wish I could accept the truth and get over myself

Feel like I do is not a self-preserving wealth

I try to solve my problems by denying all of it

But as I sink in deeper it gets angry bit by bit

I scream and shout and blame you instead of blaming me

You try to open up my eyes but I just fail to see

I cut myself as if it would help

Me accepting who I am

But that won't make a difference

Cause it's all in my head

Destroy yourself

Destroying me

Once again I

Fuck up, only to start over

This is killing me

I try to put on a happy face but fail in my attempt

Pretending to be what I never was

Can't live up to my own dreams

I drown but try to hold on

Not feeling like I do is nothing I can fake

Why do I make myself hurt in my masochist ways?

I wound you but it is wounds me

And there's no one else to blame

I wish I could go back in time and fix what's come to pass

But can't undo the damage, mending up our broken hearts

I try to run away but I am running in a circle

Getting lost as always I'm despairing tad by tad

I push and hate and doubt you instead of doubting me

You fail to talk some sense in my 'cause I refuse to hear

I cut myself as if it would help

Me accepting who I am

But that won't make a difference

Cause it's all in my head

Destroy yourself

Destroying me

I want to change

Become the best that I can be

I'll find my way

Don't call me a liar

Where's my second chance?

I might fall to pieces

The truth is hard to hear

Why?

Why do I put myself through drama time and time again?

I need to be okay with being me to the very end

Find a way to love me for the person who I am

Don't look back, don't but into the fact

That I'm destroying myself piece by piece

Tearing me down where I can't breathe

Help me to my feet and stand once more

I cut myself as if it would help

Me accepting who I am

But that won't make a difference

Cause it's all in my head

Destroy yourself

Destroying me

I need to end this self-destruction or

It'll be the end of me