While my dad gently weeps

Let's grab some cash from Dad's wallet while he's asleep

and while we're at it, let's steal the old man's keys

We'll take his Volvo downtown, cruise around, check out the scene

We'll buy some beer and then do donuts in the parking lot across the street

CHORUS:

While the old man is asleep

into his bedroom we will creep

We'll steal his money and his keys

while the old man is asleep

Let's crack open his liquor cabinet and have a few

A couple for me, 15 for you!

Hey, take it easy, that's Dad's favourite chair you're covering in puke!

Let's play his records at 78

You know, at this speed, Paul Anka sounds great

Let's pop a couple of his heart pills just for fun

AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAA-HAA-HAA-HAAA!!!!!!

Hey, I don't hear him snoring anymore

Hey, hey, hey, he's in my van, and he's listening to hardcore!

Isn't that my wallet on the dash?

Isn't that my girlfriend in his lap??

I guess I musta been asleep

Into my bedroom he did creep

He stole my money and my girl

I guess I musta been asleep