Wanna Be Myself

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself

I forgot how to be myself

I just really miss myself

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself (yeah)

I forgot how to be myself (uh)

I just really miss myself (somebody asked me, yeah)

Somebody asked me: What do you have outside of music that really makes you happy?

I thought about it and I ain't have no answer

I started this shit ten years ago, it was just me and my manager

On the road, doin' any shows, we was fillin' up this calendar

But Matty's married now and it's a whole 'nothеr chapter

While I'm in Gerryland, I'm still hеre wildin' as a bachelor

Woke up next to a stranger, what's her name? I had to ask her

She prolly thinks I got it all, but it's pain behind this laughter

Hungover the mornin' after, close my drapes, make it blackout

Tryna put the pieces together from last night when I blacked out

On LSD, had a convo with my brother, it brought a lot up

See I don't ever take the uniform off, and now I'm clocked out

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself

I forgot how to be myself

I just really miss myself

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself

I forgot how to be myself, yeah

I just really miss myself (yeah)

Comin' down in my room all alone listenin' to Mac

Last time he text me, I was fucked up, forgot I didn't hit him back

Wish I could have spoken up, man, I just want my brother back

But I mean, who am I to talk, bro? I'm still livin' like that

They'll never understand what it's like to be an artist

Make some shit I don't feel, yes men tell me it's the hardest

They just wanna keep their jobs, stay on my good side, keep their office

Keep us on the road, and no commission or the profits

Now everything is peachy, and yeah, I feel Avicii

Fifty thousand watchin' me, but I swear don't nobody see me

But it's rich people problems, it's stamps all in my passport

My mama tellin' me that: This is everything you asked for

What you want?

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself

I forgot how to be myself (how to be myself)

I just really miss myself (great mind, great mind)

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself

I forgot how to be myself, yeah

I just really miss myself

My anxiety increases the higher that I climb

I thought this shit would get easier, easier with time

I'm happy in my mind, but at least I tell myself that

Guess I'm damaged goods, I cannot help that

Drugs take the edge off, hide inside my comfort zone

Different girl every night, but worry I'ma die alone

Me against the world, can't decide now what side I'm on

Miss my family, but act like I can't even dial a phone

Cheated on my girl, I felt like shit, and then I sped off

Crept in the crib quiet, shower, took my YSL off

She woke up, grab my dick, I couldn't help it, had to get off

And if she gave me head, felt like I wanna blow my head off

Think everybody cheats, everybody will

Everybody leaves, but these drugs never will

I know that sounds fucked up, but in the end, it's real

till I'm lost on a bender askin' myself can I chill

This scale here will measure, five hundred pounds of pressure

The only thing to alleviate it is a stash in the dresser

Illuminate my ugly, you really sure you love me?

You deserve to know the truth, decide now what you think of me

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself

I forgot how to be myself

I just really miss myself

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself

I forgot how to be myself, yeah

I just really miss myself