brothers

Our father hid a lot of painful memories

A bunch of shit he never shared

But when he died, I went out looking for them

For all the things he never said

Thought he was born in 1948, but

Was born a whole decade before

Thought he was brought up in New Zealand, but he

Was born and brought up in Samoa

We thought that he was only half-Samoan

That his mother was a German Jew

But I went found his birth certificate

And he lied about that too

Our father's love was unmistakable, and

He gave us everything he had

And I guess that meant pretending he was half-white

To give his kids a better chance

My sister, she lives out in New York City

Been there since I was seventeen

I think she hates it, but like most New Yorkers

She just can't bring herself to leave

She used to love to watch our father cooking

And imitate the things she'd seen

And now she makes the most amazing things, and

She also sings better than me

And when he died, she and her husband stayed

To keep my mother company

And even though it fucked them up a lot

They did a better job than me

And I wish that we could see them every weekend

And she could cook her famous meals

I wish that I could hang out with her husband

More than a couple times a year

Our brother Wesley is a quiet man, and

He is the second of us four

He inherited our father's hands, but

He looks like me a little more

He has a love that's unmistakable, and

He's seen police brutality

He lives in Auckland with his wife and dog, and

He stands a shade above 6'3

Our father left him with a cousin, and

He got into trouble frequently

Me and my sister only heard of him

In 2018

Our brother Matthew is a baker, and he

Stands a mighty seven feet

He was brought up in a Maori family

And speaks Te Reo fluently

He didn't know about our father till I

I guess he was about 18

He did some time for something awesome, and he's

The sweetest guy you'll ever meet

He came to meet me at a festival

He told me everything he knew

Our father left him at the hospital

But if he forgives him, then I should too

I know our father had his reasons, but that

Can never make it right or fair

I hate myself for stealing all his love when

My brothers thought that he was dead

So as I dig through the collateral

The secrets hid throughout the years

I know I'll hardly ever answer them

But it's a way to keep him near