I Want Candy Dead

Will somebody answer the fucking phone? Good Lord.

Hello?

Hey Justin.

My name isn't Justin.

Hey. It's Aaron.

That's great.

I can't come out tonight.

What?

I'm going to see this girl.

But I thought we were gonna have an orgy.

No. No. Her name is Candy.

I don't care what her name is.

She's real cute. I gotta go. See ya.

What? Oh, hell no.

I know a girl who's tough but sweet. (More like sour.)

She's so fine she can't be beat.

(I'll fucking beat her.)

She's got everything that I

desire. (Yeah, well she's missing

a few inches.)

Set the summer sun on fire. (I'll light her on fire.)

I want Candy. (Ew.)

I want Candy. (I didn't know you liked the taco.)

I want Candy. (Are you sure it's not Randy?)

I want Candy. (I'll kill that bitch.)

Go to see her when the sun goes

down. (You always told me you were

going to the bathroom.)

Ain't no finer girl in town. ('Cause she's a slut.)

You're my girl, what the doctor

ordered. (I didn't know you could

have a skank as a prescription.)

So sweet she makes my mouth water.

('Cause my cock was in your mouth

last night.)

I want Candy. (Yeah, candy penis.)

I want Candy. (You're gonna smell like fish.)

I want Candy. (Bitch, you're not Willy Wonka.)

I want Candy. (She's just a loose-pussied ho.)

Hey. (What?)

Hey. (What?!)

Hey. (Why do you keep saying hey?)

Hey. (Stop it.)

Hey. (What is this hey?)

Hey. (Stop it.)

Hey. (I will kill you. Shut up.)

Hey.

Candy on the beach, there's nothing

better. (Oh, gag me with a spoon.)

But I like Candy when it's wrapped

in a sweater. (Well, isn't that

kinky?)

Someday soon I'll make you mine. (You're a

cockeye, I don't want you.)

Then I'll have Candy all the time.

(You'll have the smell of fish all

the time.)

I want Candy. (It's not even Halloween.)

I want Candy. (She's not even a real girl.)

I want Candy. (Great. Let's go to

WalMart and get some.)

I want Candy. (Oh, God, we get the point.)

Candy in the morning time. (Ew.)

Candy in the hot sunshine. (Ew.)

Candy, baby, can't you see? (No.)

All I want is your Candy! (Gross.)

Candy in the morning time. (Ew.)

Candy in the hot sunshine. (Ew.)

Candy, baby, can't you see? (No.)

All I want is your Candy!

Hey. (Oh, not again.)

Hey. (Shut up.)

Hey.

All I want is your Candy!

Hey. (Shut up.)

Hey. (I will kill you. I will kil you...)

Hey. (...with my eyeliner.)

Hey. All I want is your Candy!

I'll kill that bitch, too