Auntie Maggies Remedy

Now there's all sorts of medicines that you can buy

No matter what ailment you've got

But I know a special one you ought to try

You'll find it's the best of the lot

It's my Auntie Maggies home made remedy, it's guaranteed never to fail

That's the stuff that will do the trick

Its sold at every chemist for "one and a kick"

Now if you've got lumbago, rheumatics or gout, or a pain in your Robert E. Lee

Dont kick up a shindy, you'll never get windy with Auntie Maggies Remedy

If you set your alarm clock for eight in the morning

You're bound to wake up I'll agree

But I'll bet you by heaven, you'll wake up at seven

With my Auntie Maggies Remedy

In a young ladys bedroom I went by mistake

My intentions were honest you see

She shouted with laughter

"I know what youre after

It's my Auntie Maggies Remedy"

Oh my Auntie Maggies home made remedy, it's guaranteed never to fail

Thats the stuff that will do the trick

Its sold at every chemist for "one and a kick"

Now if you've got lumbago, rheumatics or gout, or a pain in your Robert E. Lee

Dont kick up a shindy, youll never get windy with Auntie Maggies Remedy

Now when the baby starts crying, theres always a reason

And if you inspect him youll see

The poor little chappy has covered his nappy

With Auntie Maggies Remedy

Now I went to a doctor, I wasn't too well

And he made me lie on a settee

He said "Theres trouble brewing, youve been overdoing

Your Auntie Maggies Remedy"

Now I know a girl who was putting on weight

In a spot where it just shouldnt be

So I said to Nellie, "Now you rub your ankle, with Auntie Maggies Remedy"