Nothing Ever Hurt Me (half As Bad As Losing You)

Well I've had a splittin' headache from my eyebrows to my backbone

Arthritis appendicitis brights disease and gall stones

Bleedin' ulcers ingrown toe nails swollen adenoids

The Asian flu a time or two and inflamed vocal chords

I've had a toothache so severe my jawbone split in two

But nothing's ever hurt me half as bad as losing you

Well I've had the lit end of a cigar pressed against my belly

Whupped on with a crowbar till my eyeball turned to jelly

Accident'ly nailed my index finger to the wall

Cut off all my toes and soaked my foot in alcohol

I've had my pelvis ruptued by an angry kangaroo

But nothing's ever hurt me half as bad as losing you

Well it's not because you measure fifty twenty forty four

It's surely not because you own a chain of liquor stores

It's not because your daddy is the richest man in town

It's just that I've grown used to you and having you around

I've had my parents tell me son we don't love you at all

I've seen my sister's name written on a washroom wall

My best friend set my barn on fire burned my horse to death

I went out with a girl who told me that I had bad breath

Last week I drew a crowd when I went to the city zoo

But nothing's ever hurt me half as bad as losing you

Well I've had a splittin' headache...