To The Sun

It was the timing and the bags under my eyes

It was the look on your face when you said I look tired

I’d rather watch you turn away

Because you don’t look at me the same anymore

And I don’t blame you for a second

What happened to us?

What happened to me?

I used to run to feel the air rushing through my lungs

Without a purpose or need or a care and a back to the sun

Now it’s just a getaway in a maze that I can’t escape

Oh, how I would give anything for a chance to catch my breath

I would give anything for you to speak in words I understand

And now my feet are sinking into my regrets like concrete

If we’re made in his reflection, I’m curious

Oh, I would give anything to recreate

How our dysfunction used to function so beautifully

So if we're made in his reflection

I'm curious, is this all there is?

Just failing expectations, crumbling foundations

Nothing more, nothing less

And the burn in the back of your throat, it never goes away

You just come to grips, and make room for it

Until you don't live, you just cope. And as much as we say

"Don't look back," we always do because we're human

God knows I'm human. I'm a liar and I am a fake

I am I, and I wish I wasn't

I keep trying to fight and trying to run

But I hate myself for changing every step of the way

I can’t help thinking that if we’re made in his reflection

I’m curious, did God drink himself to sleep the night he created me?