Where Is Zog?

Where is Zog? (x8)

Where is Zog?

A grizzled face from the days of my youth

Where is Zog?

Taught me to behave in a manner uncouth

Where is Zog?

How to kill child, how to raise dog

Somebody tell me where the hell is Zog?

Where is Zog?

Together we dove into oceans of war

Where is Zog?

Hacking and whacking through trenches of gore

Where is Zog?

Spewing death and hatred from a golden battle barge

Wherever Zog is living I'm sure that he's living large

On the world Scumdogia I first met general Zog

On his way from burning the Satanic Synagogue

Pocessions and his captive slaves were part of his great booty

He took them to the Emperor, he always did his duty

His battle cattle, bloated bleeding, simply was spectacular

The lore of war, which he adored, was part of the vernacular

I was one of many who begged to join his collegian

They wouldn't take just anyone, unless you were norwegian!

Where is Zog? (x8)

I mounted the great porno cow

And became a Scumdog

I ritually defiled myself

And signed the Captain's log

Finally brought before Zog

He slathered me with piss

Draining his bladder took several years

And not did one drop miss

And then his eyes fell, upon mine

They gave a hellish glow

It wasn't love or hate you see, it was

Well, I don't know

It was hard to win his praise, despite each bloody victory

No matter how many I slew he always was a dick to me

Nothing succeeds like success so I got straight to work

Crushing babies, torching worlds and acting like a jerk

The war we waged destroyed the suns and left the planets flattened

Simply put, it was the worst thing that had ever happened

And Zog, our leader, glorious, sported a great erection!

His battle skill notorious, we always took direction

Urgh it's me, Zog!

Uh, you some space shit on your windshield....(mumbles)

Zog! We searched the star for you

Your counsel we do crave

We must crush the one called Syn

and make his serfs our slaves

We've crossed the very universe,

Traversed the Great Starfield

To find the one tha we call Zog

Is...cleaning...our Windshield?

Zog: You got any change? Space change?

Oderus: Balsac! Lock plasma turret on target!

Balsac: Is that, is that an order?

Oderus: Oh, no, no, uh...More like a suggestion

Balsac: You can't just order me to do things. Just cause you're louder than me doesn't make you the boss.

Oderus: Uh, yeah, but, uh, you know, check it out

Zog: Do you have any space change? Space change?

Oderus: He's fucked

Zog: Argh! You got any change? Space change?

Oderus: You think maybe you wanna go ahead and, uh, lock that plasma turret on target now?

Zog: Yo! Your windshield needs a squeegie!

Balsac: Yeah, I guess... I guess you're right

Zog: You got a lot of bird shit all over it!

Balsac: Locking plasma turret. On target.

Oderus: Thank you. Thank you