(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs

Front step

Cha cha cha

Back step

Cha cha cha

Side step

Front step

Back and turn

Oh, my God, Penny, there's Link, Link!

I can't belive I'm realy here auditioning!

I can't believe I'm really watching you audition!

Front step, cha cha cha

Back step, cha cha cha

Side step, front step, back and

Oh, Amber, look at this motley crew!

Oh, this town sure has gone downhill since I was crowned Miss Baltimore Crabs

Oh, my God

How times have changed

This girl's either blind

Or completely deranged

Ah, but time seemed to halt

When I was Miss Baltimore Crabs

Amber, that move is far too dirty

Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930

You can laugh but life's a test

Don't do this don't do that

Remember! mother knows best

But the crown's in the vault

From when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs

This steps are perfect ammunition

Let me show you how your mother dear

Took out the competition

Girls, go ge'em!

Boys, let´s rumba!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Those poor runner ups

Might still hold some grudges

They padded their cups

But I screwed the judges

Those broads thought they'd win

If I plade they would spin in their dance

Not a chance

Boys put me down

Oh, good morning, ladies

Let´s see what you got!

Twis twist twist twist

Mashed potato, mambo

Ready begin

On my show you'll never find

A thurusting hip, or bumbing bind

Was that a dance for fleats and ticks?

Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks!

Oh, I hit the stage

Batons ablaze!

While belting Aida

And preparing souflees!

But that triple somersault

Is how I clinched miss baltimore crabs!

Proceed

Are you scared, were on live

No I'm sure I can cope!

Well, this show isn't broadcast in cinemascope

I never drInk one chocolate malt!

No dessert, for Miss Baltimore Crabs

This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes

Ha! kid, she'll never get a date til daddy buys her new nose

I would say oy gevalt!!

If wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs

Do you dance like your dress?

Amber, there's no need to be cruel

Would you swim in an intergrated pool?

I sure would!

I'am all for intergration, its a new frontier!

Not in Baltimore it isn't, and may I be frank

First impressions con be thogh

And when I saw you, I knew it

If your size weren't enough

Your last answer just blew it

And so my dear, so short and stout

You'll never be in

So we're kicking you out!

With your form and your face

Oh, but it isn´t your fault

You're just down with a case of Miss Baltimore Crabs

Eh, you may go

Thank you

I think they secrethy liked you