Something Missing

I wish I knew what was wrong with me

I rub my eyes but I still can't see

I swear my empathy gets the best of me

I need emotion or devotion

To keep these thoughts at bay

And I'm trying every single day

Not to feel this way

I feel I'm fearing that which I cannot control

That fleating feeling will forever come and go

On its own

Give me a pillar so I can stand up straight

Without falling down, to that hardened ground

Where I've spent most of my days

Most days I just don't say much

I'd talk to myself if I felt I was worth convincing

Its like my words have something missing

Like conviction, or motivation

I have so much to say

But without substance

Is it all in vain?

I feel I'm fearing that which I cannot control

That fleeting feeling will forever come and go

On its own

Give me a pillar so I can stand up straight

Without falling down to that hardened ground

Where I've spent most of my days

I need a pillow so I can rest my head

My body needs that restless sleep

To feel in control instead

I'm sitting in a silver steel capsule

100 miles per hour, buried under ground

It's fitting, what I've found in these fractals

Nothing's in my power, I'm neither lost nor found

And so we study

We poke and prod, and try to play God

Yet the higher we build our buildings,

The further we seem from heaven.

I've bared my feet to many streets

In hopes of rooting myself down deep

I've waited in the pouring rain

I saw my own colors change.