Auctioneer Song

There was a boy in Arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma

When she told him that he should go to school

He'd sneak away in the afternoons

Take a little walk and pretty soon you'd find him at the local auction barn.

He'd stand and he'd listen carefully then pretty soon he began to see

How the Auctioneer could talk so rapidly

He said oh my it's do or die, I've got to learn that auction cry

Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer.

Twenty-five dollar bidder now

Thirty dollar, thirty, will they give me thirty

Make it thirty, bid in the form of thirty dollar

Will they give me thirty, who'll give me a thirty dollar bid

Thirty dollar bidder now

Thirty five, will they give me thirty-five

To make it a thirty-five, A bid of thirty-five

Who will bid it at a thirty-five dollar bid.

As time went on he did his best and all could see he didn't jest

He practiced calling bids both night and day

His pop would find him behind the barn just working up an awful storm

As he tried to imitate the auctioneer

Then his pop said, "son we just can't stand

To have a mediocre man sellin' things at auction using our good name.

I'll send you off to auction school then you'll be nobody's fool

You can take your place among the best."

So from that boy who went to school, there grew a man who played it cool

He came back home a full-fledged auctioneer, then the people came from miles around

Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound

That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer

Then his fame spread out from shore to shore

He had all he could do and more

Had to buy a plane to get around

Now he's the tops in all the land

Let's pause to give that man a hand

He's the best hillbilly auctioneer.