Slowly And Painfully

Once again

I'm left alone to rot

This will never change

I find myself lost in a world of pain

I have become beyond depressed

Beyond anger

Beyond emotions

Beyond everything

Almost to the point of numbness

Screaming myself to sleep each night

Unable to think straight anymore

Hating this life more and more

Wanting it to be over already

I lost everything I had

I lost the will to live

I lost myself in depression

I lost my emotions

They are running wild

I cannot control myself

Trying to find a gun

A razorblade wont work

Let me put an end to this

Once and for all

Why continue on contemplating

Wether to live or die

Why not just end it already

Why not just waste this pathetic life

That was already wasted to begin with

The gun is ready to kill

I walk up to the one person who once cared for me

Who once thought I was important

Who once said that I was their everything

Who once told me that I was something special

But those words seem useless now that she has moved on

With someone else

Were they lies?

Or was there actual meaning and pure emotion behind it

Either way... it doesnt matter anymore

It is over

The one person I once had in my arms

Is now at the bear hands of life

I point the gun towards my head

Staring straight into her eyes

Tears falling down my face

Bleeding all over

And with my last breath

I say to you

I loved you