Vicious Circles

Born a bastard in a house on fire

You always tried to wash the ashes away but never quite succeeded

At an early age you started hiding and then the hiding turned into running

You ran as far as you could manage

But always ended up in another house on fire

You thought you could save the world

When all you really needed to save, was yourself

Born into shame, raised with the guilt

You promised that you would never pass that on

You were a searcher, and everywhere you looked there was a path unexplored

You found shelter in God, and salvation in a bottle

You longed to be loved, but you could only find it in their abuse

And they kept beating you, pushing you to the ground

And you kept on running, opening new paths to find yourself

But you could never run away from yourself

The ashes were still on your skin, the guilt was still in every breath

You carried the pain forward within

You were forever stuck in that burning house

Unable to get out and no one heard your cries

In this vicious circle

In this vicious circle

In this vicious circle

In this vicious circle

Then there was me, someone to love you unconditionally

But, with the breast milk, came everything you had tried to outrun

Your love was never enough, your love was never enough

Because the shame, the guilt and the ashes now live in me

Because the shame, the guilt and the ashes now live in me

Now I run, trying to break free, trying to find me

In this vicious circle

In this vicious circle

It's hard because the ashes have marked me

I, too, carry the guilt, the shame and the pain

Forward within

Forward within

You didn't mean for this to happen

But I'm stuck in the same house on fire

I'm my mother's daughter

I'm my mother's daughter

I'm my mother's daughter

I'm my mother's daughter