I Know You

I know you

You were too short

You had bad skin

You couldn't talk to them very well

Words didn't seem to work

They lied when they came out of your mouth

You tried so hard to understand them

You wanted to be part of what was happening

You saw them having fun

And it seemed like such a mystery

Almost magic

Made you think that there was something wrong with you

You'd look in the mirror and try to find it

You thought that you were ugly

And that everyone was looking at you

So you learned to be invisible

To look down

To avoid conversation

The hours, days, weekends

Ah, the weekend nights alone

Where were you?

In the basement?

In the attic?

In your room?

Working some job - just to have something to do.

Just to have a place to put yourself

Just to have a way to get away from them

A chance to get away from the ones that made you feel

So strange and ill at ease inside yourself

Did you ever get invited to one of their parties?

You sat and wondered if you would go or not

For hours you imagined the scenarios that might transpire

They would laugh at you

If you would know what to do

If you'd have the right things on

If they would notice that you came from a different planet

Did you get all brave in your thoughts?

Like you going to be able to go in there and deal with it

And have a great time.

Did you think that you might be the life of the party?

That all these people were gonna talk to you and you

Would find out that you were wrong?

That you had a lot of friends and you weren't so

Strange after all?

Did you end up going?

Did they mess with you?

Did they single you out?

Did you find out that you were invited because they

Thought you were so weird?

Yeah, I think I know you

You spent a lot of time full of hate

A hate that was pure sunshine

A hate that saw for miles

A hate that kept you up at night

A hate that filled your every waking moment

A hate that carried you for a long time

Yes, I think I know you

You couldn't figure out what they saw in the way they lived

Home was not home

Your room was home

A corner was home

The place they weren't, that was home

I know you

You're sensitive and you hide it because you fear

Getting stepped on one more time

It seems that when you show a part of yourself that is

The least bit vulnerable someone takes advantage of you

One of them steps on you

They mistake kindliness for weakness

But you know the difference

You've been the brunt of their weakness for years

And strength is something you know a bit about because

You had to be strong to keep yourself alive

You know yourself very well now

And you don't trust people

You know them too well

You try to find that special person

Someone you can be with

Someone you can touch

Someone you can talk to

Someone you don't feel so strange around

And you find that they don't really exist

You feel closer to people on movie screens

Yeah, I think I know you

You spend a lot of time daydreaming

And people have made comment to that effect

Telling you that you're self involved, and self centered

But they don't know, do they?

About the long night shifts alone

About the years of keeping yourself company

All the nights you wrapped your arms around yourself

So you could imagine someone holding you

The hours of indecision, self doubt

The intense depression

The blinding hate

The rage that made you stagger

The devastation of rejection

Well, maybe they do know

But if they do, they sure do a good job of hiding it

It astounds you how they can be so smooth

How they seem to pass through life as if life itself

Was some divine gift

And it infuriates you to watch yourself with your

Apparent skill at finding every way possible to screw it up

For you life is a long trip

Terrifying and wonderful

Birds sing to you at night

The rain and the sun the changing seasons are true friends

Solitude is a hard won ally, faithful and patient

Yeah, I think I know you