Feel Better

I’ve been reading journals that I wrote when I was 13

And I’m still trying to find the answers that that kid was asking

Sometimes it feels so hopeless that it’s pointless to keep searching

But she keeps telling me its all how I perceive it

And I’ve been thinking lately that maybe there’s nothing to it

Everyone tells me to relax and not to over think it

I take a break to view the lake outside my bedroom window

And I must say its really beautiful while it is snowing

It still feels as though I’m reading while it’s being written

Eraser marks, a time machine back to 2007

And if it worked in reverse and my former self could see me

Would he be proud or would he just be disappointed?

There’s a chest that’s in a closet in my parents basement

Full of nostalgic shit throughout the years that I’ve collected

I find it scary when there’s nothing left for me to burry

These aren’t trophies. These are ghosts

That’s what I keep them for

So why can’t I feel better?

Everyone knows that the past is gone forever

So why cant I fell better now?

I’ve been calling people that I knew when this was written

Bringing up stories but eventually they’re barely listening

If I could find someone who’s haunted by the same things I am

Then we could talk for days until we both feel better