Requiem for a Drink

it's been a while since i had the guts

to skip these ruts

and get right back to getting it right

to stand on my two feet

and preach from a soapbox about

someone so sweet

that she'd break your teeth from a taste

and she'd break my heart with a heightened haste

i wont let this go to waste

cuz its already too hard to look at my face

in the mirror

so consider this a requiem to my self-medicating days

im done drinking myself to death,

smoking myself out of every maze.

the chemicals consume me and i get so depressed

so consider this a retirement

from the remedy that i know best

call me crazy but i dont find it so bad

not being high all the time anymore

and, sure, i'm feeling feelings

that were numb to me before

and they aren't always the greatest

but at least i'm feeling something at my core

besides a void, a boy too

scared to deal with life's little ploys

so calculatedly coy

realizing not every second's filled with joy

and it's alright

so now that i'm not hiding in a hole

with a brown bottle and a heart so cold

i feel like maybe i'm ready to speak a couple sentences

about being more than acquaintances

cuz i've seen what true inspiration is

it's not at the end of a fifth

or in the pieces that polarized our complacency

i've found a much better fit

and this clarity that i've conjured is amazing me