The Awakening

I am wasting away

The desires of my mind left

A shameful path walked by a man

Surely unworthy of grace

And I have no one to blame

And no one to take the pain away

I‘ve had my life

Hit the bottom multiple times before my eyes

So I’m left wasting away, wasting away

But I’m supposed to believe

That I can be saved

When the life I’ve lead is so despicable

Can I push the limits, be accepted for the things that I’ve done

Behind closed doors

For I’ve lived a life that I’m ashamed of

Will I be forgiven, or abandoned for the secrets I keep

Behind closed doors

Never had I imagined I’d seek forgiveness

And be accepted

Like I had never committed these sins

As I lay filthy, disgusted at my own reflection

I slowly I wonder if I’ll ever end this suffering

So I bide my time

And I lie awake at night

Then I close my eyes

And wonder if I’ll ever wake up

It’s been too long now

Since I could believe

In places for people like me

To have their sins washed clean

It’s been too long

Since I believed

Can I be clean

Its been too long