Henry VII: The Original Tu-Tu-Tudor

Of all the kings called Henry, I'm the one you've rarely heard.

Shakespeare wrote four, five, six, eight but seven not a word.

People think I'm dreary, to some extent I am.

But look a little closer, glam, bam, thank you mam!

I didn't agree with King Richard three,

So I fought him at Bosworth field and won, victory!

How cool does it sound, that I'm the king who found,

Richards crown in a hedge on the winning battle ground.

The only way to end war and avert further disaster,

There's got to be a way to unite York and Lancaster.

I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,

Founder of that dynasty.

The man who closes, the wars of the roses,

That's right, that's right, that's me!

I launched attacks on lords who earned stacks,

Mine was a noble cause to tap them all for tax.

They paid their share, was only fair,

To making good rich and be a millionaire.

Elizabeth York became my wife for life, that make me a bore?

Joined our family seats, that's neat, made my rule secure.

I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,

Returning power to the state.

It seemed quite toothless but actually ruthless,

I made the monarchy great.

Spent a long time fighting, pretenders to the throne,

Lambert Simnel, Perkin Warbeck said my throne was their own.

They claimed they'd been the princes, in the tower their rule delayed,

I said 'this crown aint big enough for the three of us' and had one slayed.

I'm the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,

King of foreign policy.

Doing hostile relations with enemy nations,

I asked them a-make friends with me.

Yeh, the original ch-ch-ch Tudor,

They say dullness my main trait.

Well that's a sad endightment, cause if you're looking for excitement,

My son was Henry the Eighth.