Ted Mosby Is a Jerk

Ted Mosby Is A Jerk The Solids

Hello, everyone.

I'd like to introduce myself.

I'm a girl who just got screwed over by a guy --

A guy named Ted Mosby.

Sure, he seemed nice at first,

But I found out soon enough

Ted Mosby is a jerk --

A big, stupid jerk

And I'm going to tell you all about it.

He treats you like a queen,

And then he treats you mean.

My friend, that's how he works

He gets inside your head

I'm telling you that Ted

Mosby is a jerk.

Ted Mosby is a jerk.

Ted Mosby is a jerk.

Ted Mosby is a jerk.

He seemed so great at first.

He's an architect, a great dresser,

He smells really good.

I thought he was the answer to my prayers

I was wrong

Because my dream turned into a nightmare.

He says you'll be his wife

Then cuts you like a knife

It drives a girl berserk

And makes you want him dead

I'm telling you that Ted

Mosby is a jerk.

Ted Mosby is a jerk.

Ted Mosby is a jerk.

Ted Mosby is a jerk.

Are you happy, Ted Mosby,

Knowing the pain you've caused me?

You ruined my life.

I thought we had something --

I thought we had a future together.

I was wrong.

Because you're a liar, Ted Mosby,

A cruel, evil liar.

I can't believe I actually thought that we had something.

I even told my parents about you.

Yeah, I told them, "Mom, Dad, I met a really nice guy today.

I really think he's something special."

But it was all just a cruel joke to you, wasn't it, you jerk?

I hate you so much with your stupid blond hair and your stupid suit.

I hope you fall down a manhole and die.

I hope you get run over by a steamroller.

I hope someone drops a piano on you from a really, really, really high building.

You make me sick -- physically ill.

You're evil, Ted Mosby,

And if I had one wish, just one chance

to change something about the world,

It would be this:

That you were never born,

That there was never a Ted Mosby.

Do you hear me, Ted Mosby?

I hate you. I hate you for what you've done

And for what you will do

And I'm going to make you pay.

Somehow, somewhere, someday,

You're going to pay for what you've done.

I'm totally serious, Ted Mosby,

I hate you. I hate you so much.

I have this burning hatred for you inside of me.

I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can only hate.

And it's all because of you.

It's because...

I miss you.

I miss ... what we had together.

Please call me.

Please call me, Ted, please.

I'm sorry, it'll be better this time.

It'll be good. I'll be good.

I won't push you away like I did before.

I HATE YOU!!!!!