Miss You Hate You

Now I've debated

That my sobriety is overrated

And I want to feel intoxicated

For just a moment to escape it

I miss you

I'm feeling weighted

And it's been so long since I've been faded

I'm not trying to make this complicated

I'm proud of the life that I've created

I hate you

I miss when my eyes would dilate and

I would start to get that taste I'd waited all day for

Settle that score with my head on my floor

Painted my face with elation, till I'd forget contemplation

And I could vacate my mind, copy paste a time

Where I was funny, loud, pretty, stupid, forgetful, regretful

False sense of serenity, identity, it was my only enemy

But damn did it feel good

And I miss you

Now I've debated

That my sobriety is overrated

And I want to feel intoxicated

For just a moment to escape it

I miss you

I'm feeling weighted

And it's been so long since I've been faded

I'm not trying to make this complicated

I'm proud of the life that I've created

I hate you