Hirem Pawnitof

It's of a famous highwayman a story I will tell

His name was Hirem Pawnitof, in bread street he did dwell

Through all the storms of his career few troubles he had missed

His tale was wrote from ear to ear, and he looked like this:

Throughout the land his gallant band in many a song did star

With Biceps dead, and Pretty Boy fled, and Boothill claimed Bill Star

Though the best are gone, he still rides from Leeds to Carter Bar

Weedy and few his motley crew

And here they are:

His purse was lined with empty air, his wherewithall was low

The last good swag to pad his lag was 40 years ago

His motley band were out of hand, their breakfast they had missed

Then travellers two hove into view

And he challenged them like this.

The stranger turned to his lady fair

A smile played on his lips

What's the deal, are they for real

they've been taking too many trips

No gold need we, we travel free, here's something we won't miss

A treasure map from Gabby the Flap

And he gave it him like this:

His glasses perched upon his nose the map he carefully sussed

Each robber's eye filled with surprise, there's gold in it for us

The strangers waved the band goodbye but they did not see them go

Hirem got his compass out, said follow me lads, Westard Ho

Then had not gone but 20 yards when a pieman they did spy

They smacked their lips with hunger keen - my kingdom for a pie

The peddlar twinkled once or twice

Not one word did he say

With snake-like eyes he shouted 'pie'

and he struck him on the head with the tray

At that moment Hirem Pawnitof attained enlightenment.

Come on said Hirem laughing much

Let's see what's down this road

His troop were dropping, wearily stooping

men of no fixed a bode

Just then a milkmaid Hirem spied

their hearts were filled with bliss

Like long lost friends who meet again

they fondly kissed like this

I need a man around the place

the milkmaid breathed with charm

And Hirem twirled his long mustache and took her by the arm

The last we heard they all lived there

doing what the law allows

They all ate breakfast every day, happily growing cows.