At the Doorway of Existence

Through the years I've come across

Many games I've won and lost

Time goes by,

yet I remain

With these tears I can't explain

In a time when all was new

All

these tasks I had to do

No one asked and no one stared

When it happened, no

one cared

In another life

On another day

Searching for the truth

Or

better lies to say

Asking for it all

Waiting for a sign

Was this a

mistake

Or was it by design

Through an open door

Handing me the key

What am

I to do

And what am I to be

Should I turn away

Should I run and hide

Or

should I carry on

And see what lies inside

Through the door I try to

find

All my thoughts I'd left behind

Cast away without regret

Now returns

the lost duet

Running for the door

It's closed and locked away

Confronted

with myself

And thoughts that disobey

What have I become

Is this really

me

There's so much left to do

And so much left to see

How did this

begin

Where did I lose control

This was not my cause

This was not my

goal

Is it worth the cost

To deal with what's inside

Would anybody care

If

I laid down and died

Through the haze I see myself

For the first

time

Without knowing

Is there anyone left

Will I fade away

Or will I keep

on going

Life rushes back

The feeling returns

My memories flood

The pain

still burns

Fighting for a chance

To just turn back the page

Trying to

resist

The urge to disengage

Waking from a trance

Holding back the

screams

Gasping for my breath

Forcing back the dreams

Struggling to hang

on

To all that I hold dear

Forcing myself up

To deal with all my

fear

Crawling to the floor

Cold and full of pain

Taking all my strength

Too

much to sustain

Looking at myself

With someone else's eyes

It finally came

too late

I finally realize