Great Live Caper

Let me tell you about the time I had to solve this case

When some crab motherf**ker straight invaded my space

It was approximately 8:47 P.M.

I was on my way home comin' back from the gym

My muscles kinda ached, they felt rigid and stiff

But my mind was at ease from this Coltrane riff

Playin loud... out at Fulton and Truce

æTill a Jeep drowned it out with Xzibit and Snoop

As I get closer to the heezy baby

Certain parts of my body started actin' crazy

My ears got to twitchin' and my right hand shook

I had the sudden need to speed so I decided to book

As I arrived on the block to see a bunch of kids scopin' out my building

Noticin' the door wide open

As I jetted up the stairs past signs of forced entry

Expecting to see my humble abode stripped empty

Oh hell no!

(ah, ah, ah, ah,) X8

Ay yo, my trip from the front door to the second floor

Had me feelin' so alone, embarrassed and insecure

My worldly possessions that I cherished in pride

Flashed in a matter of seconds before my eyes

But not photographic, more like alphanumeric

You know, VCR, TV, laptop, C3

VS, MP, LP, CDs

RL, (?), N-I-K-E

Not to mention USA and RC3C

That opened up in D.C. for Run DMC(?)

This has gotta be a nightmare, somebody pinch me

When up the stairs I see my ten-speed GT

Right where I left it, rather bizarre

Still felt violated, my apartment door was ajar

As I stormed in, thinkin' it's about to be on

The window was wide open, but nothin' was gone

As I dashed to the edge I held my head past the ledge

I seen two hooded figures jumpin' over a fence

They was way beyond capture, so I took a step back

So I could figure this sh*t out cuz it was getting intense

The computer was on, file cabinets wide open

Bookshelves was tipped over, they searched, but didn't steal

Wait a minute, the picture from my built-in safe

Was slightly tilted to the side, I was beginning to feel

The same tingling in my fingers and hands

Everything else in the house was there, so work with me one time

But my instincts failed me not

The safe was blown wide open

They stole my priceless book of rhymes!

Oh hell no!

(ah, ah, ah, ah)

Ah, sh*t I've been hit, Elizabeth this is the big one

f**k it, these niggas got me pullin' out my big guns

So be it, so what if they got it? They can't have it

Dagnabit! The last thing I needed was static

But I got a briefcase for just such an occasion

So I grabbed it, jetted downstairs, hailed a cab

I knew this sh*t was gonna happen, I was gettin' too nice

From the briefcase I pulled out a homin' device

Three times better than lowjack, these MC's is so whack

That now they gotta resort to stealin' my text

As I fixed on their position for my intercept mission

The cabbie was feather-footed, it was getting me vexed

As we headed toward Jersey the signal got stronger

Even in the tunnel was right on they tail

A green Volkswagen had the nerve to blast ragged

A dead giveaway, now watch justice prevail

I told the cabbie get closer, but he had no heart

Next thing I know we was like five blocks apart

But they was headed for the airport, a getaway plan

Traffic was getting' thick, so I got out and ran

Followed the signal all the way to this drive in hanger

These niggas wanna... with a lear jet?

I drove a luggage cart up the runway to no avail

They pulled out just in time, but I'm not done yet

So watch this

You think you can get away clean?

I know every rhyme in that book

You got five seconds to turn that plane around!

It's like that?

Aight, then!

If I can't have it, no one can!