The Smurf Syndrome

"Ohh.. you got to give me some now!"

[J-Zone]

I'm backed up like the D, six in the evening

Crashed in the center lane before a Yankee game

I like the Belt Parkway for Coney Island festivals

Remain with a pain in the testicals

The fifth girl this month said she wanna be platonic friends

Game is void, even when she drunk off the tonic gin

Wastin fifty cents in the phone, it took two calls

After conversation, blue balls

Lookin for a way to release this nut

so for bein backed up I wrote a thesis, slut named Dawn

got her period, damn so does Valerie

Some cats pay for it, "Aiyyo I'm smokin DUST 'fore I do that"

Money go to music so I'm steady stayin blue black

Painful platonic friendships, where the woman at?

I gotta ease the tension off, so now I'm thumbin through

my brown phonebook - aiyyo here goes June, look

Nah high maintenance, shit I can't take this

I need a dominatrix, so I rent "Payback"

with Lucy Liu; whoo!

"On your knees bitch.. I want to set a section."

Get a pain and get her hair done (hell no!)

But now I'm back to square one (that's true)

so get the lotion - put the palms in motion

Woo, damn! All over the curtains

"Oh that was great! You know I'm all tired out though."

-> Ernie from Sesame Street

"Looks like a nice day for being naughty!"

"Maybe, you and I could have a little.. fun?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Lie on your back"

"So you finally ready for the big dick eh?"

"Erect?"

"Yes!"

"Here we go!"

"Aww, sure thing, open your mouth!"

"hummmm..."

[J-Zone]

The other day I felt lonely, horny, freaky

Time to bone so I picked up the phone to call Nikki

She widdit, I gotta go get this

She want jewels? She got 'em comin in her wet pearl necklace

(Hahaha) So I hit the shower, bathed in cologne

Said she'd call at eight, so I stayed by the phone

Damn; 8:10 the phone rang

Aww shit, I'm about to go bang her

Who's the six month cherry, said the moving guy on the way there

Ready to Amtrak this chick can have a different train fare

Got to the crib, she on the couch half naked (Oh my God!)

Talkin bout how much it cost to press a record (the fuck?)

I ignore her, rub her feet and relax

Then she asked, could I make her a beat cause she raps?

Man fuck hip-hop! Nuts blue with a Smurfette

Leavin me swoll up, backed up, now hold up

I'm outta here! "I thought you were my friend" Shit, bye bitch

Hope you get a deal with Wild Pitch, and get jerked

Jerk, that sounds great, I got my hand - you're frontin

Chased the elevator, hit the first floor button

Another Lucy Liu night, horny on the way down

Ready to bust nut and release it like a trey pound

I got so hot though the Zone never made it

Froze the elevator, missed the floor and mastur..

(Aowwwww shit!)

"Exercise number ten should be done by two people simultaneously.

You can do it alone too with your hands; but it's not as much fun."