The Ruins of Adventure

I don't know what I'm doing and never did

The nights seem so pointless

And stupid survival leads to stimulation,

But really, if you're not fighting for your life

You'll just hurt yourself

Or find a cloud of unknowing to hide behind

Get lost in a fake smile

Yeah, talk it up, laugh and joke

But don't include me

I just can't do it

And what the wheels turn

I wish I wasn't here

But there's nowhere to escape to

Oh well

Maybe there's action prefabricated

With myself in the middle of the situation

But underneath everything I'm just waiting

Like a blade of grass in the field

To live and die, it's too bleak

No mystery, solid fact

The ruins of adventure

Smoking in the burnt-out city

And the wildfire devastation

We'll return from adventure

Embrace the gray reality

A passing on

Why should I leave a cloak

Oh where, what

I feel so sick of days

Minutes are hours

Time hangs oppressive

Go away time

Leave me at once

I don't want to know you

I'll take the sun

I'll take the black night

I'll walk through perception

But it's so hard to wait

I want to go now

I wait, but what can I do

The trouble in my mind I can't shake loose

I want to go out the back door, get lost for good

I want to disappear and never be found

I want to cease to exist as far as I know

I could always go drinking and never come back

I could go traveling in search of nothing

I don't want to know the world is changing

Just beat down my door, come on you nothing

I just don't care and I can't get it right

I heard tell of salvation, but what I saw was controlled

Either by the inside or from without doubt

Give me your rules I don't want to post them

Or be imposed upon

I could do a good thing, discover a cure

I can't lift my hand up to open a door

I'm stuck in depression

Get out, go away, go away, go away

I hate that I got any responsibility

I don't want to talk, I don't want to walk

But maybe if I walk I'll escape talk

If I can be alone I'll live through this

I'll take the hammer, I'll pound the steel

I won't give an inch to you, you rotten thing

I won't fall in your hole