Bad Luck

I spent my last dollar on this chew in my cheek

And I don’t get paid for at least a damn week

Wifi went out about an hour ago

So I can’t watch the damn rodeo

Mud on my boots, can’t keep my shirt clean

Sold my best guitar to buy a washing machine

Can’t get no lovin' from the microwave oven

But my hungry man is frozen so I guess I’m eating nothin'

Every dog, supposed to get his day

But joy is just a needle in a stack of hay

Misery is said to love company

Well ain’t nobody ever gave a damn about me

Yeah I’m Bad luck, a walking tragedy

I’m the saddest son of bitch you don’t ever wanna meet

I got a raw deal, and it’s a damn shame

Catastrophic inconvenience is my middle name

I break mirrors, I’m walking under ladders

When I come into a room, everybody scatters

Nothin' goes my way, yeah I’m just stuck

With bad luck

My horse got fat and outgrew his saddle

The rain dun wreck my favorite ping pong paddle

Tried to milk my cows to churn my own butter

But the Heffer only had one big udder

Rooster keeps waking me up too early

First date went bad with my second cousin Shirley

Grandma ran her mower over my favorite steer

Godamnit I just knocked over my last cold beer

I’ve been insulted by my own reflection

My last lover only left behind an infection

She’d be here if not for one sad factor

I couldn’t get her off with the size of my tractor

I’m bad luck, I’m a walking tragedy

I’m the saddest son of bitch you don’t ever wanna meet

I got a raw deal, and it’s a damn shame

Catastrophic inconvenience is my middle name

I break mirrors, I’m walking under ladders

When I come into a room, everybody scatters

Nothin goes my way, yeah I’m just stuck

With bad luck

And it sucks

I'll probably end up marrying my truck

Bet you think this song is a lie

But I haven’t slept for years without a good cry

Black cats follow every move I make

Trustin’ me for anything’s a damn mistake

Nothing goes my way, yeah I'm stuck

With bad luck