Who Stole My Car?

Now a joke is a joke and funny games are chill

But this isn't funny y'all this is straight up ill

Now there's a limit to humor and this is goin too far

I ain't laughin no more y'all now who stole my car

Now I don't know if you ever had a car stolen before

But it's a real crazy feeling when you walk out the door

And you don't need a map or any kinda chart

To know you're standin in the spot your car used to be parked

Now you know you parked your car there but yet you keep lookin

Cause your mind didn't accept yet that somebody took it

So you're scratching your head and tryin to get things clear

And it's always some idiot saying (you're sure you parked here)

To call the police would be the move that is smart

But instead you keep lookin where you know you didn't park

Searchin for reasons like maybe tickets you owed

Something to justify that - maybe it got towed

But not stolen n-never forget it

But then you ask yourself well where the hell is it

If there was a prize you'd win dummy of the year

Cause you're lookin somewhere else when you know you parked it here

So through never-neverland you find yourself strollin

Then when you finally accept that it's stolen

You call the police and they come and say

(That's the 437th car stolen today)

As if that's somethin that he really needed to mention

Then they start askin you real dumb questions

Like (well when's the last time that you saw it)

You idiot, right before they stole it

Now you're mad this cop is talkin to you

And somebody in your car headed to kalamazoo

Officer Fool or whoever you are

Would you please get off your butt and find who stole my car?

I remember my first car, never forget it

A candy apple red I ROC, windows deep tinted

Talk about fast like a rocket to drive

Went from zero to 60 in like 5.5

Imagine red rims but that wasn't enough

It had a car phone for when I wanted to reach out and touch

An alpine stereo the straight up rock

With 12" woofers you could hear for blocks

The first day I got it I was frontin real hard

I could hear people sayin (damn, look at that car)

I was hyped and I wanted my friends to check it out

So I went to the spot where they're usually hangin out

Just my luck nobody's standin outside

And I didn't really feel like parkin my ride

So I honked my horn and nobody was comin

I thougth what the heck, I went inside and left it runnin

I was inside for 20 seconds that's all

I found my friends, I said, "You gotta check this out, y'all"

But when we came back out the car wasn't there

(Man you ain't buy nothin) I did, I swear!

My friends went inside, I was mad they didn't believe me

Now i'm standin outside the spot my car used to be

It's hard to figure out what to do all alone

But then I got it: call the car phone

(Fresh Prince's car?)

Yo thief, bring my car back now

Before I bust your (hold up wait a minute pal)

(Seems like you forgot who's got the keys)

I thought: he's right, "Well, bring it back, please"

Hello Mr. Thief, don't hang up

Aw then luckily Jeff pulled up

I told him what had happened someone stole my car

I said, "Come on Jeff, let's get him, he can't be far"

We rode around for about 20 minutes

And we were just about to say forget it

When I spotted him, I said, "Jeff, go get it!"

We pulled up behind him and man dude jetted

He was drivin all wild and fast

Like he was gettin points for the stuff that he crashed

I called him on the car phone again and I said

Of course you realize when I catch you you're dead

All through Philly was a high speed chase and

Dude was playin around like he thought we was racin

100 miles an hour and he lost control

And slammed my car into a telephone pole

I ran to the car said man you're okay

He said yeah so I punched him in the face

The cops came up as if it was my fault

They saw me punch dude and charged me with assault

If his neck was closer I probably woulda grabbed it

He told the cops that I said he could have it

I calmed down and they got things straight

I saw half my car at 7th street the other half at 8th

I wanted to just jump in the ocean

My car looked like it was a Lego explosion

Why does life have to be so hard?

Don't laugh, next time it could be your car