I'm Not Gay

J Pee, baby, yup, yup

Yeah, you know what it is

Check this shit out, man

Check it out, check it out

Check it out, yeah

Chillin' with my homies at the home depot

(Home depot)

Buyin' screws and nails, manly shit, you know?

(You know?)

My homie says to me what kind of drill you want?

(He asked me)

So I said I wanted one right in the ass

What?

I'm not gay

I'm not gay

It was a joke, guys, come on

I'm not gay

I like vag more than a pornstar scandal

But can I get the drill with the bright pink handle?

Playin' tackle football with my homies in the park

Had to wrap it up cause it was gettin' dark

(Gettin' dark)

The other team was looking straight scary as shit

(Ooooo)

But my quarterback, he ain't having none of it

(He ain't scared)

He looked at me and told me no matter where I was at

My priority job was to protect the sack

(Okay)

So fourth down, he bends over and yells hike!

So I went and grabbed his balls!

Uhhh

I'm not gay

I'm not gay

I'm just doing my job, step off

I'm not gay

It's not like I was purposefully tryin' to feel them

(I wasn't)

I just care about the safety of your future children

(Godfather)

I'm not gay, I'm not gay

Quit telling me that, man

I'm not gay

Next time I'll just let your balls get mangled, son

P.S. i didn't know that you were so well hung

Strollin' with my homies in West Hollywood

(Hollywood)

Wasn't my idea because I'm not gay

Dude walks by me with his shirt off, and I was like

Damn, bitch, you fine!

Fuck

I'm not gay, guys

That ain't me

I'm just comfortable with my sexuality

So I can admit when I see a guy

Who has a handsome face, and pretty eyes

And a rock hard chest, and rippling abs

And the tightest ass, and those sculpted calves

And those bulging quads, and the perfect bod

And oh, my God, take your pants off

Um

Fuck it

I'm gay

I'm fucking gay

I'm the dude wearing nail polish yelling hey!

I'm the dude at the party who'll grab your butt

(That's me)

And when you turn around and look at me I'll be like what?

Yeah!

I'm gay

(I'm gay)

I'm hella gay

I watch Zac Efron fron movies every Saturday

And normal self expression doesn't suit me either

That's why my degree is in musical theater

I'm so gay, man