Have One On Me

From the courtyard, I floated in

And watched it go down.

Heard the cup drop;

Thought, "Well,

That's why they keep them around."

The blackguard sat hard, down,

With no head on him now,

And I felt so bad,

Cause I didn't know how

To feel bad enough

To make him proud.

By the time you read this,

I will be so far away.

Daddy longlegs, how in the world

Am I to be expected to stay?

In the night--

In the night, you may hear me call

Pa, stay your hand

And steel your resolve.

Stay where you are,

So long and tall.

Here's Lola--ta da!--to do

Her famous Spider Dance for you!

Lighten up your pockets!

Shake her skirts and scatter, there,

A shrieking, six-legged millionaire

With a blight in his sockets.

Miss Montez,

The Countess of Lansfeld,

Appealed to the King of Bavaria,

Saying, "Pretty papa,

If you are my friend--

Mister daddy longlegs, they are at it again!--

Can I see you?"

Poor Lola! A tarantula's mounting

Countess Lansfeld's

Handsome brassiere,

While they all cheer.

And the old king fell from grace,

While Lola fled,

To save face and her career

You caught a fly, floating by,

Wait for him to drown in the dust;

Drown in the dust of other flies,

Whereby the machine is run,

And the deed is done.

Heaven has no word

For the way you and your friends

Have treated poor Louis.

May god save your poor soul, Lola.

(But there is nothing I adore,

Apart from that whore's black heart.)

Well, doesn't that just beat all!

Miss Gilbert,

Called to Castlemaine

By the silver dollar and the gold glitter!

Well, I've seen lots,

But never, in a million years,

Would think to see you, here.

Though the long road

Begins and ends with you,

I cannot seem to make amends

With you, Louis.

When we go out,

They're bound to see you with me.

At night, I walk in the park,

With a whip,

Between the lines

Of the whispering Jesuits,

Who are poisoning you against me.

There's a big black spider

Hanging over my door.

Can't go anywhere, anymore.

Tell me, are you with me?

I called to you, several times,

While the change took place

And then arrived, all night,

And I died.

But all these songs,

When you and I are long gone,

Will carry on.

Mud in your eye.

You asked my hand,

Hired a band.

"In your heart is all that you need;

Ask and you will receive," it is said.

I threw my bouquet,

And I knocked 'em dead.

Bottle of white, bottle of red.

Helpless as a child,

When you held me in your arms,

And I knew that no other

Could ever love me as you loved.

But help me! I'm leaving!

I remember everything,

Down to the sound of you shaving--

The scrape of your razor,

The dully-abrading black hair

That remained

When you clutched at me,

That night I came upstairs, half-dead,

And, in your kindness,

You put me straightaway

In the cupboard,

With a bottle of champagne,

And then, later, on a train.

It was dark out, I was half-dead.

I saw a star fall into the sky,

Like a chunk of thrown coal,

As if god himself spat

Like a cornered rat.

I really want you to do this for me,

Will you have one on me?

It was dark; I was drunk and half-dead,

And we slept, knocking heads,

Sitting up in the star-smoking air,

Knocking heads like buoys.

Don't you worry for me!

Have one on me!

Meanwhile, I will raise my own glass

To how you made me fast

And expendable,

And I will drink to your excellent health,

And your cruelty.

Will you have one on me?

--helpless as a child,

When you held me in your arms,

And I knew that no other

Could ever love me--

From the courtyard, I floated in

And watched it go down.

Heard the cup drop;

Thought, "Well, that's why

They keep them around."

The blackguard sat hard, down,

With no head on him now,

And I felt so bad,

Cause I didn't know how

To feel bad enough

To make him proud.

Well daddy longlegs, are you?

Daddy longlegs, are you?

Daddy longlegs, are you proud?