Imagine If

Every stitch of clothing, every strand of hair

My skin and bones, my toe and finger nails

All my vital organs

Appendages and such, I’m not sure

Every word I say, even the promises

Ever tear and every laugh and every kiss

The good dreams and the bad dreams

The whispers and the screams, I’m not sure

I doubt everything about me

Choices all around me, but which one is mine?

I never thought that I would be so hard to find

I’ve looked in every picture

The mirrors in the past,

I’m not there

And I’ve never been decisive but this takes the cake

An existential nervousness that I can’t shake

I used to be so different, once I trusted and once I just played

And I can’t be too sure just when it was that I changed.

I can’t look at anything without seeing a million different ways it could be.

Including me.