Johnny Socko
Lyric guide

If I Didn't Have A Goiter

Read If I Didn't Have A Goiter lyrics by Johnny Socko on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.

Johnny Socko visibility0 visits
person Curated by Ethan Walker LyroVerse team
Reference snapshot

The page facts to cite before the commentary

Use this page for the lyric text, linked artist context, and any LyroVerse editor's note attached to the song. Listener comments remain user-generated and should not be treated as the primary source.

Page type: lyric reference Artist: Johnny Socko Canonical path: /johnny-socko/if-i-didn-t-have-a-goiter Related lyric paths: 6
Lyrics

If I Didn't Have A Goiter

The lyric stays readable and compact here; the note and related paths sit nearby so you do not lose the song while looking for context.

So you came up to me at the end of the night

I stay in profile and keep out of the light

I'd like to meet your gaze and face you straight on.

But there's something in my features that's very very wrong

If I seem a tad evasive, or preoccupied

I'll put it to you straight, I'd be in trouble if I lied

Any further chance of congress will prob'ly be wrecked

But I'll tell you the truth, and darn me to heck

There's a lump like a casaba melon stuck on my neck

If I didn't have a goiter, I'd ask you out

If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't wear these turtlenecks

If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't be quite so vexed

If I didn't have a goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter

So you got the beer goggles and you're not walking right

But you'd have to be blind not to notice this sight

I lay on my side whenever I go to bed

Cause this thing is like havin' me a second head

People point and stare whenever I ride the bus

At my glandular piƱata that is chock full of pus

Another couple seconds you'll find out and be gone

Guess I'll never get a chanec to make that special bond

Cause my thyroid seats 4 with room for carry-on

If I didn't have a goiter, I'd ask you out

If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't wear these turtlenecks

If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't be quite so vexed

If I didn't have a goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter

You seen my defect but you're still hangin' round

And suddenly my chances are goin' up instead of down

I got the feeling you and I are sharing the night

And the reason I know everything is alright

Is cause now I see that you have got the elephantitis

If I didn't have a goiter, I'd ask you out

If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't wear these turtlenecks

If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't be quite so vexed

If I didn't have a goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter

Quick answers

What this page can answer fast

Who performs "If I Didn't Have A Goiter"?

Johnny Socko performs "If I Didn't Have A Goiter", and this lyric page sits inside the Johnny Socko catalog on LyroVerse.

Are there related songs to explore after "If I Didn't Have A Goiter"?

Yes. The related section below points to Art. No. 24 and Bitch Stole My Hat with a short reason for opening each page next.

Where can I find more songs by Johnny Socko?

Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Johnny Socko's lyric pages.

Song Room

Interpretations, questions, and corrections for this song

Interpretations, questions, memories, and correction notes live together here. The room stays noindex while the best insights are reviewed.

Open Song Room
0 followers Selected insights only surface after moderation
Listener comments

What people are saying

0 comments
Add a short interpretation or memory

A strong comment here is specific: the phrase you keep hearing, the mood you come back for, or the reason this song stays in rotation.

Sign in to post the first listener note. Reporting stays open to everyone.

No listener comments on If I Didn't Have A Goiter yet.