Tale Of Mary Drew

The time has come to tell you of the tale of Mary Drew

Who buried 16 husbands at the age of 22

Some say that she is a monster

The evil widowed Bride

But you’ll find there’s more to it when you hear how they all died

At 16 she met Charles it was Love at first sight

They marry Sunday morning and they buried him that night

They all thought it Tragic but none thought it foul play

Until six months later on her second wedding Day

There was Charles and Barry and Nick and Mark and Jon

Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron

There was Billy and Willy and Mathew and Fred

There was a James and a Brian

And now they’re all dead

Barry was a strapping lad as strong as any ox

But after Just two days with her He wound up in a Box

The Police they were alerted and Just had to come around

But a poor sad Widow was all the coppers found

They looked for clues each time But never found a trace

Each husband was found naked with a smile on his face

They put the clues together, an answer came to light

None of these men could handle one of Mary’s wedding nights

There was Charles and Barry and Nick and Mark and Jon

Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron

There was Billy and Willy and Mathew and Fred

There was a James and a Brian

And now they’re all dead

Now Michael was what some of you might call a ladies man

Said Mary Just need taming and I have the perfect plan

Well, they heard him beg for mercy and then beg her not to stop

So unless his plan was suicide I guess it was a flop

It see Mary she was packin some extraordinary heat

And only the bravest would slip between her sheets

16 men went to heaven, right before each die

But she was always happy to become a new man’s bride

There was Charles and Barry and Nick and Mark and Jon

Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron

There was Billy and Willy and Mathew and Fred

There was a James and a Brian

And now they’re all dead

Willy was a clockmaker as punctual as could be

And so they were married at precisely 10 past three

When He went to the bedroom He knew He was tempting fate

Next morning for the first time that poor Willy He was late

Mathew was a blacksmith and a bitter angry man

His neighbors they suggested that he asks for Mary’s hand

When they put him down to rest He was grinning ear to ear

And the neighbors all let loose with a very tasteful cheer

There was Charles and Barry and Nick and Mark and Jon

Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron

There was Billy and Willy and Mathew and Fred

There was a James and a Brian

And now they’re all dead

Well I had to know though I don’t mean to be obscene

And she agreed that I would be her number 17

So we were married Sunday, I was ready for the thrill

And they buried her at Monday by the tree up on the Hill

There was Charles and Barry and Nick and Mark and Jon

Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron

There was Billy and Willy and Mathew and Fred

There was a James a Brian and Mary Drew

And now they’re all dead