La vie Boheme

Cafe Owner:

No please no

Not tonight please no

Mister- Can't you go-

Not tonight- Can't have a scene

ROGER

What?

Cafe Owner:

Go, please go;

You- Hello sir

I said no

Improtant customer

MARK

What am I- Just a blur?

Cafe Owner:

You sit all night -You never buy!

MARK

That's a lie - That's a lie

I had a tea the other day

Cafe Owner:

You couldn't pay

MARK

Oh yeah

COLLINS

Benjamin Coffin III- Here?

Cafe Owner:

Oh no!

ALL

Wine and beer!

MAUREEN

The enemy of Avenue A

We'll stay

Cafe Owner:

Oiy Vey!

COLLINS

What brings a Mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe?

BENNY

I would like to propose a toast

To Maureen's noble try

It went well

MAUREEN

Go to hell

BENNY

Was the yuppie scum stomped?

Not counting the homeless

How many tickets weren't comp'ed?

ROGER

Why Did Muffy--

BENNY

Alison

ROGER

Miss The Show?

BENNY

There was a death in the family

If you must know

ANGEL

Who died?

BENNY

Our akita

MARK, RODGER, ANGEL, COLLINS

Evita

BENNY

Mimi- I'm surprised

A bright and charming girl like you

Hangs out with these slackers

(Who don't adhere to deals)

They make fun -Yet I am the one

Attempting to do some good

Or do you really want a neighborhood

Where people piss on your stoop every night?

Bohemia, Bohemia

Is a fallacy in your head

This is Calcutta

Bohemia is dead

MARK

Dearly beloved, we gather here to say

our goodbyes

COLLINS & ROGER

Dies Irae - Dies Illa

Kyrie Eleison

Yitgadal V' Yitkadash (etc.)

MARK

Here she lies

No one knew her worth

The late great daughter of Mother Earth

On these nights when we celebrate the birth

In that little town of Bethlehem

We raise our glass- You bet your ass to-

La Vie Boheme

ALL

La Vie Boheme

La Vie Boheme

La Vie Boheme

La Vie Boheme

MARK

To days of inspiration,

Playing hookey, making something

Out of nothing, the need

To express-

To communicate,

To going against the grain,

Going insane,

Going mad

To loving tension, no pension

To more than one dimension,

To starving for attention,

Hating convention, hating pretension,

Not to mention of course,

Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike

Midday past the three piece suits-

To fruits- To no absolutes-

To Absolut- To choice-

To the Village Voice-

To any passing fad

To being an us- For once-

Instead of a them-

ALL

La Vie Boheme

La Vie Boheme

MAUREEN

Is the equipment in a pyramid?

JOANNE

It is, Maureen

MAUREEN

The mixer dosn't have a case

Don't give me that face

MR. GREY

AHHEMM

MAUREEN

Hey Mister- She's my sister

MR. GREY

So that's five miso soup,

Four seaweed salad

Three soy burger dinner,

Two tofu dog platter

And one pasta with meatless balls

A BOY

Eww

COLLINS

It tastes the same

MIMI

If you close your eyes

MR. GREY

And thirteen orders of fries

Is that it here?

ALL

Wine and beer!

MIMI & ANGEL

To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries

To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese

To leather, to dildos, To curry Vindaloo

To Huevos Rancheros and Maya Angelou

MAUREEN & COLLINS

Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion,

Creation, Vacation

MARK

Mucho masturbation

MAUREEN & COLLINS

Compassion, to fashion, to passion

When it's new

COLLINS

To Sontag

ANGEL

To Sondheim

FOUR PEOPLE

To anything taboo

COLLINS & ROGER

Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

COLLINS

Lenny Bruce

ROGER

Langston Hughes

MAUREEN

To the stage!

PERSON #1

To Uta

PERSON #2

To Buddha

PERSON #3

Pablo Neruda, too

MARK & MIMI

Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow

To blow off Auntie Em

ALL

La Vie Boheme

MAUREEN

And wipe the speakers off before you pack

JOANNE

Yes, Maureen

MAUREEN

Well- Hurry back

MR. GREY

Sisters?

MAUREEN

We're close

ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK & MR GREY

Brothers!

MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & 3 OTHERS

Bisexuals, trisexuals, Homo Sapiens,

Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men,

Pee Wee Herman

German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein

Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa

Carmina Burana

ALL

To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy

Vaclav Havel- The Sex Pistols, 8BC

To no shame- Never playing the fame game

COLLINS

To marijuana

ALL

To sodomy

It's between God and me

To S & M

BENNY

Waiter...Waiter...Waiter

ALL

La Vie Boheme

COLLINS

In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromtu salon will commence immediately following dinner...

Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being

stirred.

ROGER

And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days.

MARK

And Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will sing Native American

tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello- Which she has never never

studied.

BENNY

Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us?

MIMI

There's nothing to know-

BENNY

Don't you think that we should discuss-

MIMI

It was three months ago-

BENNY

He dosn't act like he's with you-

MIMI

We're taking it slow-

BENNY

Where is he now?

MIMI

He's right- Hmm

BENNY

Uh huh

MIMI

Where'd he go?

MARK

And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song

(Roger picks up a guiter and plays)

MARK

That doesn't remind us of 'Musetta's

Waltz'

COLLINS

Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10-gallon plastic

pickle tub.

ANGEL

And Collins will recount his exploits

as an Anarchist- Including the tale of

his successful reprogramming of the

MIT virtual reality equipment to self-destruct as it broadcasts the words:

ALL

'Actual Reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS!'

BENNY

CHECK!!

MIMI

Excuse me- Did I do something wrong?

I get invited, then Ignored all night long

ROGER

I've been trying- I'm not lying-

No one's perfect, I've got baggage

MIMI

Life's too short, Babe, time is flying

I'm looking for baggage that goes

with mine

ROGER

I should tell you-

MIMI

I've got baggage, too

ROGER

I should tell you--

BOTH

Baggage- Wine-

OTHERS

And Beer!

(beeper alarms go off)

MIMI

AZT break

ROGER

You?

MIMI

Me. You?

ROGER

Mimi