Burlington Bertie

I'm Bert

Perhaps you've heard of me Bert

You've had word of me

Jogging along, hearty and strong

Living on plates of fresh air

I dress

Up in fashion and when I am feeling depressed

I shave from my cuff

All the whiskers and fluff

Stick my hat on and toddle up west

I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten-thirty

And saunter along like a toff

I walk down the Strand

With my gloves on my hand

Then I walk down again with them off

I'm all airs and graces

Correct, easy paces

Without food so long

I've forgot where my face is

I'm Bert, Bert

I haven't a shirt

But my people are well off, you know

Nearly everyone knows me

From Smith to Lord Rosebery

I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow

I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten-thirty

And saunter along Temple Bar

As round there I skip

I keep shouting, "Pip, pip"

And the darn fools think I'm in my car

At Rothchild's I swank it

My body, I plank it on his front doorstep

With the mail for a blanket

I'm Bert, Bert

And Rothchild was hurt

He said "You can't sleep there"

I said "Oh?"

He said "I'm Rothchild, sonny"

I said "That's damn funny

I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow"

I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten-thirty

Then Buckingham palace I view

I stand in the yard

While they're changing the guard

And the king shouts across, "Toodle-loo"

The Prince of Wales' brother

Along with some others

Slaps me on the back and says,

"Come and see mother"

I'm Bert, Bert

And royalty's hurt

When they ask me to dine, I say "No"

I just had a banana

With Lady Diana

I'm Burlington Bertie,

Burlington Bertie,

I'm Burlington Bertie,

I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow!