To Fuck A Life

When you fuck to forget and you drink to remember;

When the day's an inferno and night's are december;

When you're dreaming eternal, but living dismembered;

These are the signs of a carnal surrender.

When the minutes are needles slammed into your neck;

And there's nothing to die for or live to protect;

When your heartbeat's a ring tone and love becomes stress;

These are the signs of a heart attack chest.

When your losing religion and praying to god;

Ignoring decision and stumbling on

A place in your mind recognized as fascade;

These are the signs that your senses are gone.

When your bloodstream is violent, and air becomes ill;

When w a t c h I n g blood spill's a phenomenol thrill;

And your dying to injur and living to kill;

These are the signs that your losing your will.

When sleeping's proactive and waking's retractive;

And taking a beating's becoming attractive;

When going to work means becoming a captive;

These are the signs you're no longer reactive.

I'm losing my fucking mind doing this shit

The old tender touch is a fucking vice grip

The love and the lust are just fountains of hatred

And I frown on the norm but I'm doing the same shit

I hate myself worse than I hate why I hate myself

Make myself worse then I shake and I face myself

Make myself thirst then I wait and I race myself

Wake myself first then I pace and remake myself

Shame my self worth when I take and erase myself

Sleep and I wake just to fake fucking chase myself

It's fucked up how I never thought about suicide

Till I thought about how I never thought about suicide

You and I knew that it's the pain that makes the truest eye.

Talking to myself is the remaining hope to blue my sky.

God, if your there, I need answers to prayers, cause right now insanity looks like a fucking vacation