The Builder

Verse

School holidays were draggin' on

He was gettin' really bored

And his Mum had started poppin' pills

She was climbin' up the walls

So when he asked her could he go across

The buildin' site and play

She just popped another pill 'n' just said

"Don't get in the way"

So he chucked his little toolbox

In his billycart 'n' left

While his Mum knocked up a cuppa

Laced with valium and Bex

She needed all the help she could

To cope with holidays

But the pills and powders weren't enough

When he got home from play ... 'n' said ...

Chorus

I wanna be a fuckin' builder when I grow up ... eh, Mum

And build fuckin' houses everywhere, millions of the cunts

A bricky or a chippy, eh Mum, I don't give a fuck

I just wanna be a fuckin' builder when I grow up

Verse

It seemed the sawn-off shit

Had listened to the builders while they worked

And he'd remembered everything --

Word for fuckin' word!

And his shell-shocked Mum just sat there

As he went on to explain

How "some wanker lost the fuckin' plans

Then found the cunts again!"

And how "some dickhead missed the fuckin' nail

And hit his fuckin' thumb!"

And how "they shaved a mickey whisker

Off the door to close the cunt!"

And his voice was so excited

Best fun he'd ever had!

"And can I go back tomorrow, Mum?

Can't wait till I tell Dad, how ...

Chorus

I wanna be a fuckin' builder when I grow up

And build fuckin' houses everywhere, millions of the cunts

A bricky or a chippy, really, I don't give a fuck

I just wanna be a fuckin' builder when I grow up

Verse

His Mum was scoffin' scotch and serepax

And propped against the fridge

And when his Dad got home she dribbled

"Tell your father what you said"

So the young bloke give his Dad a serve

The air was turnin' blue

"Fuck the weather, fuck the foreman

'N' fuck the unions, too!"

His old man turned fuckin' purple

'N' his whole body started to twitch

Until finally he exploded

"Go and get a switch!"

But the young bloke shook his head

'N' said, "No way, mate, I've knocked off

Anyway, you c'n go 'n' get rooted

Cause that's a fuckin' electrician's job!"

Chorus

Cause I wanna be a fuckin' builder when I grow up

And build fuckin' houses everywhere, millions of the cunts

A bricky or a chippy, not a sparky, go get fucked

I just wanna be a fuckin' builder when I grow up

Yeah, I wanna be a fuckin' builder when I grow up

And build fuckin' houses everywhere, millions of the cunts

A bricky or a chippy, you cranky bastard, go get fucked

I just wanna be a fuckin' builder when I grow up

Yeah, I wanna be a fuckin' builder when I grow up

And build fuckin' houses everywhere, millions of the cunts

A bricky or a chippy, you're not me foreman, go get fucked

I just wanna be a fuckin' builder when I grow up