You'll Only End Up Joining

Tonight I'm posed and popping like a peacock

I'm pressing flesh, I'm smiling big

My spinning head sings: Stop, just stop

'Cause what used to calm me down

Just rips my life to ribbons now

So I keep smiling, I find my window and quick cut out

These days my hangman's hunger makes my gut kick

My sleeping mind could map it blind

A flask, a key, a bag, a fifth

I try to will myself away while shouting

Habits plead their case

So when the Sun seers through my eyes

A beggar's brain can't compromise

I splash cold water, I draw the curtains

I stay inside and I can't say that it's a sickness

More like a stranger I ask in and later realize

It was a strangler slipping nooses in my den

But I was lonely, so I asked him

Could you tie that one on me?

It wasn't his fault

I was eager and I was weak

So as I inched towards resolution

Yeah, I'm not sure which life feels right

No narrow noose or the wading water

Will hang in hex or open eyes

I know my brother, he went one way

And at the fork I heard him say

Don't you follow, don't go making my mistakes

And I realized what he meant

Don't kill yourself to raise the dead, it never works

You'll only end up joining them, it never works

You'll only end up joining them