Champagne

Champagne in the kitchen not because I bought it but because

I’m crashing an apartment and somebody left it open

So I poured it in a cup, drank it up

I got the devil in my head but angels swimming in my blood

Plus the conscience of my dead dad

Plus my living mama plus my other father who raised me not to be sad

And my brother who says that he worries about me from my songs

And my sister who’s been living like a saint for so damn long

While I’ve been fucking sinning til the lights come up and mics catch us saying shit that we never really meant

Crew wears all black stuff but we all act like we’re so different

But everybody bleeds right?

Everybody’s waiting for the phone to ring

Yeah everybody seems fine

But everybody’s got pieces missing

At minimum I’d like a little medicine to make me feel like everything

Diminishing the venom that been harshing all my mellows I’m continuing to fight against the sentiment that make me want to die

In a world full of uptight gentlemen I wanna find a boy smelling like sweet cinnamon to quote some Tennyson while we take Benadryl to make my head a bit extra light

I feel it, I want it

I need it, I love it

I’m looking for something

To make me feel nothing

I feel it, I want it

I need it, I love it

I’m looking for something

To make me feel nothing

Driving through the bay, pray for understanding

I’ll be silent for a day, wait until I vanish and I’m fighting for a break, vacant kind of passion

Never really can account for all the ways in which I’ve acted

Tried to call my daddy but he’s been gone a decade so I’m drinking like an addict til I’m fucking with a headache

Happiness sporadic so I’m crying on a Wednesday

Not trying to be combative but I’m dealing with some dead weight

Verbalize the hurt inside make me wanna burn alive

My heart was never broken it was circumcised