Can I Be Honest?

What if I spoke w/ complete honest-ness

What if told you that I've broken some promises

I dealt with pride ever since a little kid

I've compromised and I've doubted like Thomas did

I can't hide though he sees the way I live

Every single time I told every little fib

I can't deny cause he's already knowing this

But to my wife I regret the time that I've missed

I've been on the road when I really should've been home

Been on the phone and took calls I should've left alone

I shouldn't have done that see I want you to know

I should've been with you then out trying to get dough

I still got issues that's hard to let go

Still got some bitter situations with a few folks

Still got a temper that I work hard to control

I gotta remember your standard that's the goal

Can I be honest?

Can I be real?

Would they still listen just to how I feel?

But if I was honest?

If I was real?

Would they even care about how I feel?

I've wanted to get back at those who tried to doubt me

I've wanted to hit back every time they tried to clown me

I've said some things about those that tried to down me

I've been too hard on some people that's been around me

I'm a workaholic addicted to the game

Plus sometimes I've been addicted to the fame

I look deep inside things that I'm ashamed

Still the little kid conflicted still in pain

I'm so grateful when I think though how you found me

I used to be hateful of everything that's around me

I'm so thankful of the way that you still surround me

So shameful yet you love me still confounds me

See I've put myself first

I've gone days sometimes without reading your word

I've acted like a huge jerk

Yet you still love me that's the thing that I've learned

Sometimes I dumb down to sell a few records

Didn't do it though just to get a little cheddar

But looking back I could've made some of my songs better

Hindsight is 20/20 so I'm like whatever

But I regret some of my broken relationships

No matter how hard I've tried to just make em fit

And I don't blame myself and I'm not blaming them

But too many up in my life have just came and went

I'm not perfect I serve a God who is

I serve a God who lives who says that I'm his kid

When I shoot for the mark but I shoot and miss

I serve a God who gives a new start and he forgives

And takes every thing I ever did

Then he throws it in the sea of forgetfulness

See I'm just being honest I hope your getting this

Cuz he's my promise the reason that I live