Dinner Tonight

The faded words on the brick walls

Sheets, box springs, mattresses

Betrayed the fact the field outback

Was the bed of two men Willie and Dan

Men of vision ahead of their peers

Unfortunately in between careers

Whatever the last straw, the bad break

It was not to be their last mistake

Dan had just spent his last penny

On a minute in the bush with reach-around Jenny

"Get over here claptrap"

Willie said and he flashed a smooth fat bottle of red

"Where the fuck did you get that Willie?

It's got a cork"

Dan gave his lips a lick

Went back to the bush to look for a stick

"Hold on Dan, you've got not class

You treat your liquor like you chase your ass

We may not have the crystal, or the table

But of one thing we're able

We're gonna consult the label"

"Fine, fine, fine!"

"This fine red wine is a bouquet that pleases

Serve with red meats, poultry and cheese"

It's coming to light what are you

What are you eating for dinner tonight?

Well Dan was confused over some of the words

Willie had to tell him that poultry was birds

"I heard that bestowed on by an honorary degree

On one stupid fuck from the University"

"Oh Willie how" asked Dan "do you expect me to wait?

Crack that baby and I will gladly pretend I am eating a steak"

"Listen up, I though this through

Check it out, down at the slew

The geese are all to fat to fly

They're slow and they're weak

And they're fucking huge

Me and you, all we gotta do

A rope, a rock, a four by two

When they're asleep, we creep up

We bash out the turd and we bag us a bird"

It's coming to light what are you

What are you eating for dinner tonight?

But the geese were quick and had the men miss stepping

They slipped up the bank and abandoned their weapons

Willie had a gander by the feet

Dan had the neck, it was hissing and spitting

Nipping his arms the welts raising

And so raging he whacked the head down

Repeatedly on the bike path

Until it was good and dead

Willie was flat on his back laughing

"Oh great hunter you must tired

You start the plucking and I'll get the fire"

But the goose wasn't cooking on the inside whole

They ripped off strips rolled 'em in the coals

Pushed in the cork with a felt pen top

Easy down so they didn't spill a drop

"When was the last time Dan do you know

You had a fat full belly and a good wine glow?

You tell me now which is which

Hey, the middle of the road or the middle of the ditch"

They rode the high until the bottle dripped dry

And song after song couldn't help them along

Well two men's wishing is as good as a command

So they scrounged enough for a flat of wild cat and got slammed

By morning a crowd had formed by the river bank

Willie and Dan were hauled to the drunk tank

Forced to appear in court for the killing of the goose

Clear city park bylaw abuse

Asked in turn how the two men plead

Willie claimed "We were helplessly led by our guts

It's like snapping, during a kidnapping

Well that's me anyway, Dan here's nuts"

"Hey!"

The judge was annoyed with the courtroom fool

Told Will and Dan they were reckless and cruel

"One question sir and I'll admit you're right

What are you eating for dinner tonight?

At least the geese set their sight to flight

Yah, what are you eating for dinner tonight?"

It's coming to light what are you

It's coming to light what are you

It's coming to light what are you

Well now, what are you eating for dinner tonight?