Suicide Note

Staring at my food but I can not eat it

Laying in my bed but I am not sleeping

Crying in my room and I keep it top secret

Because people tell me they care but they do not mean it

I'm cut open, even though I am not bleeding

My heart's broken, so I'mma make it stop beating

Someone runs in the room and screams

He's not breathing!

I'm rushed to the hospital to have a Doc treat it

But he cannot beat it, there's no time at all

Cause I just popped some pills with some Tylenol

And 3 bottles of antidepressants, and Sambuca

40 ounces, got killed I didn't puke up anything

There's no use in pumping my stomach

Cause I'll just do it again

I'm a lost cause, so fuck it

Everyone with grudges towards me is gonna love this

The smiles on their faces when my death goes public

Cause I'm killing myself

Taking matters to my own hands

I can't picture myself as a grown man

I don't wanna grow up

I hate change and everything's just so rearranged

My life's nothing but a disaster

And time keeps going by faster

But in a second all that shit won't matter

Fuck this I'mma kill myself

I act happy

But I wanna die, I'm not gonna lie

Thoughts of suicide keep crossing my mind on a regular basis

Going crazy, cause I'm going through bullshit on a regular basis

Look me in the face, I'm sick in my eyes

Cause I'm sick in the mind

I've been wishing to die ever since I was 9

This isn't a lie

I don't bitch just to whine

Or bullshit just to rhyme about it

I don't cry just to spit

Just to try to guilt trip

Cause I could give two shits about your pity

I ain't trying to get everyone to feel bad for me

I'd rather dis everyone and make y'all mad at me

I ain't a happy person and I ain't that liked

Not even by myself

I know I ain't that nice

But people don't understand how much I hate my life

Cause if they did they'd know how bad

I want to take this knife and be

Killing myself

Taking matters to my own hands

I can't picture myself as a grown man

I don't wanna grow up

I hate change and everything's just so rearranged

My life's nothing but a disaster

And time keeps going by faster

But in a second all that shit won't matter

Fuck this I'mma kill myself

I quit, I'm bailing, I'm done

I finally give up

I'm sick of failing, I'm done trying to live up

To the expectations everyone has set for me

And trying to explain shit to myself

Always questioning about my destination

Fuck my destiny

No more relationships

My friends are all dead to me

My head is aching, and I don't have any energy

I'm patiently waiting for the day that I can rest in peace

And this medication is the reason that I don't get no sleep

It ain't worth taking

So I just take some ecstasy

Then hear my friends

You're an E-tard fuck up

Maybe killing myself will

Make you retards shut up!

Cause I only do it once in a while

At times when I forget how to fucking smile

I hate being belittled when y'all act like you're

Looking out for me

If you were looking out of me then

I wouldn't about to be

Killing myself

Taking matters to my own hands

I can't picture myself as a grown man

I don't wanna grow up

I hate change and everything's just so rearranged

My life is nothing but a disaster

And time keeps going by faster

But in a second all that shit won't matter

Fuck this I'mma kill myself

When the time comes

I'll be crying then

I'll have to get a hold of myself

Call all my friends, and say goodbye to them

Then get high and then call up all my friends again

And say goodbye again

And cry again

Stop crying- smile

Find a pen, write down some last words

Somebody will find them when

I'm in Heaven looking down on them

Or who knows?

The way shit's been going- maybe Hell, looking up on them

But either way I'm watching

I'm waiting their reaction

Suddenly someone walks in

Wait they ain't laughing

They read it and start crying

They actually do care

I'm shocked, I can't believe they're sad that I ain't there

They miss me

Man what a horrible mistake I made

And I can't take it back, it's way to late

If only I could relive my life

I'd re-make this song

Rewrite the hook and it would be like

Life's shit

But I'm taking matters to my own hands

I can picture myself as a grown man

I wanna grow up, I can deal with change

Even if everything gets rearranged

Maybe my life's a disaster

And time keeps going by faster

But now I can see all that shit don't matter

Fuck that I'mma live my life!