Out Of Focus

I thought it might help if I could try limiting

All of my thoughts to meaningless little things

So I’d get hung up on some letter you wrote me

Go outside, imagine the weather in Tokyo

But I'd get dragged down by the slightest connection

Just fly off the tracks to some recollection

Of a casual mention of a trip ‘round the planet

A phone call that I didn't get when you’d landed

And how I still waited for you

When you told me not to

Still remember the things that you chose to leave out of focus

Admire, compose, and pretend not to notice

And in all of your messages, the intimate care that you

Took to show you didn't wish I was there with you

And I don't know why I thought I could estimate

How many cars could fit on the Golden Gate

And not think of when we first crossed it together

You said: Fuck San Francisco and its shitty weather

But I kind of thought it was nice

Why couldn't you just let something be nice?

And yeah, of course I know what kind of beer we were drinking last Christmas

When I asked you those things that were none of my business

And I think I called you a liar but actually

I was just mad that you wouldn't yell back at me

And I never thanked you for that

So thanks

That's all you're gonna get

Now it's been a long time, it's almost even easy

I get days, even weeks where you vanish completely

And I know I'm free now of hating or wanting you

I just hate that I still understand what I saw in you

I hate that I still understand what I saw in you