Only An Expert

Now only an expert can deal with the problem

Because half the problem is seeing the problem

And only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

So if there's no expert dealing with the problem

It's really actually twice the problem

Cause only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

Now in America we like solutions

We like solutions to problems

And there's so many companies that offer solutions

Companies with names like Pet Solution

The Hair Solution. The Debt Solution. The World Solution. The Sushi Solution.

Companies with experts ready to solve the problems.

Cause only an expert can see there's a problem

And only an expert can deal with the problem

Only and expert can deal with the problem

Now let's say you're invited to be on Oprah

And you don't have a problem

But you want to go on the show, so you need a problem

So you invent a problem

But if you're not an expert in problems

You're probably not going to invent a very plausible problem

And so you're probably going to get nailed

You're going to get exposed

You're going to have to bow down and apologize

And beg for the public's forgiveness.

Cause only an expert can see there's a problem

And only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

Now on these shows, the shows that try to solve your problems

The big question is always: How can I get control?

How can I take control?

But don't forget this is a question for the regular viewer

The person who's barely getting by.

The person who's watching shows about people with problems

The person who's part of the 60% of the U.S. population

1.3 weeks away, 1.3 pay checks away from homelessness.

In other words, a person with problems.

So when experts say: Let's get to the root of the problem

Let's take control of the problem

So if you take control of the problem you can solve the problem.

Now often this doesn't work at all because the situation is completely out of control.

Cause only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

So who are these experts?

Experts are usually self-appointed people or elected officials

Or people skilled in sales techniques, trained or self-taught

To focus on things that might be identified as problems.

Now sometimes these things are not actually problems.

But the expert is someone who studies the problem

And tries to solve the problem.

The expert is someone who carries malpractice insurance.

Because often the solution becomes the problem.

Cause only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

Now sometimes experts look for weapons.

And sometimes they look everywhere for weapons.

And sometimes when they don't find any weapons

Sometimes other experts say, If you haven't found any weapons

It doesn't mean there are no weapons.

And other experts looking for weapons find things like cleaning fluids.

And refrigerator rods. And small magnets.

And they say:

These things may look like common objects to you

But in our opinion, they could be weapons.

Or they could be used to make weapons.

Or they could be used to ship weapons.

Or to store weapons.

Cause only an expert can see they might be weapons

And only an expert can see they might be problems.

Cause only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

And sometimes, if it's really really really hot.

And it's July in January.

And there's no more snow and huge waves are wiping out cities.

And hurricanes are everywhere.

And everyone knows it's a problem.

But if some of the experts say it's no problem

And other experts claim it's no problem

Or explain why it's no problem

Then it's simply not a problem.

But when an expert says it's a problem

And makes a movie and wins an Oscar about the problem

Then all the other experts have to agree that it is most likely a problem.

Cause only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

And even though a county can invade another country.

And flatten it. And ruin it. And create havoc and civil war in that other country

If the experts say that it's not a problem

And everyone agrees that they're experts good at seeing problems

Then invading that country is simply not a problem.

And if a country tortures people

And holds citizens without cause or trial and sets up military tribunals

This is also not a problem.

Unless there's an expert who says it's the beginning of a problem.

Cause only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can see there's a problem

And see the problem is half the problem

And only an expert can deal with the problem

Only an expert can deal with the problem