Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Lavin Christine
Canonical path: /lavin-christine/artificial-means
Related lyric paths: 6
Lyric guide
Artificial Means
Read Artificial Means lyrics by Lavin Christine on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
person
Curated by Ethan Walker
LyroVerse team
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Lyrics
Artificial Means
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Johnny and janie were the perfect married couple
But not in bed
Oh they tried taking drugs, how-to books, even dr. ruth
But for all intents and purposes,
Their love life was dead.
'till one day janie went over to the pink pussycat boutique.
She bought a long cylindrical thing.
Now janie is smiling, johnny is not.
Every night you can hear him sing,
He says,
''our love is bein' kept alive by artificial means,
You've grown emotionally attached to that little pink machine,
Our relationship is not as healthy as it seems
'cause our love is being kept alive by artificial means''
Johnny went down to the barroom
He bought one drink, he bought two, he bought three.
Oh, he moaned to the bartender the state of his married life.
Bartender said, ''hey bud, just listen to me.''
So johnny went over to the pink pussycat boutique,
He bought a plastic blow-up doll.
Now johnny is smiling, janie is not.
She is angry she is jealous, she's appalled.
She says
''our love is bein' kept alive by artificial means
You've grown emotionally attached to that poly-ethylene.
Our relationship is not as healthy as it seems,
'cause our love is being kept alive by artificial means''
Bridge: wires (wires), switches (switches), batteries
(batteries), plastic (plastic),
Tufts of polyester hair.
Who'd ever think they could replace the love (love!)
Humans used to share (humans used to, humans used to,
Humans used to, humans used to!)
Then one fateful day those batteries died
At the same moment that that big doll sprung a leak (psssss).
Janie looked at johnny looked at janie looked at johnny,
They both found it difficult to speak
I wish i could say they threw those contraptions away
And fell in love all over again,
But johnny taped up that hissing woman
When janie stole the batteries from his sony walkman.
Their love is bein kept alive by artificial means.
They've grown emotionally attached to those modern sex
Machines.
Their relationship is not as healthy as it seems,
'cause their love is being kept alive by artificial means
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Who performs "Artificial Means"?
Lavin Christine performs "Artificial Means", and this lyric page sits inside the Lavin Christine catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Artificial Means"?
Yes. The related section below points to Attainable love and Blind Dating Fun with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Lavin Christine?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Lavin Christine's lyric pages.
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